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Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 07:31PM

[www.divisiontwo.com]

Let me set some of you motherfuckers straight. It seems like a lot of people out there who don't know about the movement see a bunch of young guys with shaved heads stomping the shit out of some kid in the middle of the sidewalk and then jump to the completely wrong conclusion that we're skinheads. That is so fucking off I don't know where to begin. First of all, SXE isn't about race, it's about keeping your mind and body clean and free of pleasurable substances like drugs. I shouldn't even have to fucking explain this but it's like when some cop sees me and my boys beating up some mexican, they think we're doing it because he's mexican, when we're really doing it because he was talking fast and incoherently, making us think he might have been on coke. We didn't fucking know till after we were being detained and questioned by a bunch of fucking cops that he was actually speaking Spanish. How the fuck were we supposed to know? Personally I don't care if a guy is black, white, red, yellow or purple as long as he isn't killing his body with drugs and alcohol. Those stupid motherfuckers that do this deserve to be stomped to within an inch of their life. The SXE fucking hates racists and we stomp them too. Our movement is about tolerance and acceptance and helping others find a cleaner way to live, not about hating someone because they're fucking different than us. We dish out SXE justice to everyone in equal portions.

So when it's all said and done me and my boys get 200 hours of community service for putting that mexican guy in a coma. It's not our fucking fault he seemed like he was on coke. What were we supposed to do, have him piss in a fucking cup, take it back to our lab, analyze the fucking sample and then come back and kick his ass if the results were positive? He would be long gone by then! In the SXE, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of fucking cure. Sometimes innocent people get stomped, like that kid who we thought was putting a wad of Skoal in his mouth which turned out to be some fucking Bubble Tape, but that's bound to happen with any type of law enforcement agency. I think most people recognize that it's better that one or two innocent guys get their fucking teeth kicked in than 200 fucking drug users and drunks get to do whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes. Plus it's good fucking practice for my crew and keeps our skills up and our bodies in shape. The SXE straight edge is all about keeping your body as healthy as your brian.

So just because we have shaved heads, wear steel-toed fucking boots, and have x's all over our body we're supposed to be some racist cult group? What the fuck? If our movement is about fairness and tolerance, we can't discriminate whose asses we kick based on race. There are more fucking important things than race, like who eats meat and who doesn't. Are we ONLY supposed to beat up the white kids? That's not fucking fair. The SXE has a duty to be drug-free role models to all kids and to protect them from drugs and alcohol and meat products. We wouldn't be very good role models if we snuffed out some white guy's cigarette in his eye while we let some black guy walk right past us with a pack of smokes in his pocket and did nothing. I'm tired of these fucking "hate crimes". When we grabbed that Indian girl that had a marijuana leaf on her t-shirt and burned SXE into her arm with a blow torch and a hot coat hanger, it wasn't about hate, it was about love. We were protecting her from herself; it's just fucking sick to abuse your body with weed. So why don't the fucking cops call them "love crimes" and give us medals and awards instead of making us pick up fucking garbage next to the fucking highway and scrape graffiti off the fucking bridges? My SXE boys already provide a community service, so we shouldn't be fucking saddled with having to do even more. So she was from fucking Canada. Big fucking deal. I suppose we should have taken out our fucking Encyclopedia Britannicas and compared a pot leaf to the fucking Canadian flag just to be sure. Whatever. So we were fucking wrong. At least she'll be a walking billboard for the SXE movement for the rest of her life thanks to us, so we did her a favor.

Nothing we straight edgers do has anything to do with race, nationality or religion. When we trashed that black-owned leather shop downtown, we were doing it because it's fucking wrong to kill animals for fucking clothing and because we heard fags might shop there. It wasn't a fucking hate crime. We didn't know or care that it was black-owned and so the fuck what if it was all naugahyde? Naugas are animals too.

When we drove that stolen truck into the side of Zendeja's Mexican Restaurant, we were doing it because almost everything they serve comes from a dead animal or at least a caged one. We were trying to make a statement about recognizing the fundamental rights of all of God's creatures. It's poetic justice that some guy happened to lose a leg because of it. He shouldn't have been eating there to begin with. That he happened to be middle eastern was just a coincidental bonus.

I'm planning to use my position as leader of my local Salt Lake City SXE crew and pillar of the fucking community to push that we repeal these moronic "hate crime" laws in Utah that just end up punishing straight-edgers who are trying to do something good. I have to spend the next 30 fucking days in jail for breaking some punk nine year old's arm, so I'll see you next month with more news from the Straight Edge capitol in Salt Lake City.

Out,

Raven




Highlarious!



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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Date: June 05, 2005 07:42PM

fuck that I dont resort to violence unless its needed...and if I do try to kick someones ass its not because I am straight edge or whatever its because what I feel they are doing is wrong so I am there to make it even worse

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: x broken O ()
Date: June 05, 2005 07:55PM

wtf?


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Date: June 05, 2005 08:02PM

not all straight edge kids are like that. plenty edge kids are chill as fuck. usually the ones to preach are the ones first to fall.

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: OiOiOiBlitz ()
Date: June 05, 2005 08:06PM

johnny unstoppable... laughing smiley

cause I'ma nigga 4 life, so I'ma motherfuckin nigga til I diz-ie
[www.myspace.com]
[www.myspace.com]

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: XangrypirateX ()
Date: June 05, 2005 08:11PM

the funniest part is that those kids get beat up by other edgers


KUTTA KEGGORY

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 08:37PM

is sarcasm that hard to recognize?


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 08:41PM

read the other articles they're funny as hell.


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: stfu ()
Date: June 05, 2005 08:50PM

gahahhhahahahahaahhahhahahahaahhahahahahahahaahahahhaha

somebody deserves to have their fucking head smashed

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: x broken O ()
Date: June 05, 2005 08:55PM

So if you want my fucking advice on how to fucking live the Straight Edge lifestyle, there's five basic things you gotta do:

1. Stay off the fucking drugs. No alcohol, no pot, no X, no heroin, no cocaine, no crack, no aspirin, no ibuprofen. If you've got a fucking headache, take a fucking Tylenol. No cough medicine, either, and no mouth wash...both contain alcohol, and both could get you drunk if you injested enough. If you're at a party and some punk offers you a joint, go ahead and tell him that "I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey!" shit like in the commercial, and when he's fucking laughing is ass off, that's when you punch the fucker in the balls and kick the living shit outta him. The Straight Edge has a zero-tolerance policy for punks; it says that on the first page of the handbook.

2. Stay off the fucking meat. No steak, no pork, no liver, no jerky, no anything that was ever fucking alive. Stick to fruits, vegetables, grains, poultry, and candy; absolutely no dairy products either. A lot of punks ask if swallowing jizz counts as eating meat. No, it counts as swallowing a fucking load of jizz, but's still off limits because it contains eggs, and eggs are considered dairy. If you ever have a fucking question about whether it's okay to eat something, two simple rules: 1. If it ever had a nipple or a dick, don't fucking eat it. 2. If it came out of a nipple or a dick, don't fucking eat it. Common fucking sense.

3. Two words: Community fucking service. Community service is a big part of being a Straight Edge; if you want to live the Straight Edge lifestyle, be prepared to do about 20-40 hours each month. After my boy Josiah and me burnt down that fucking McDonald's, we had to wash all the school busses in the fucking city and dish out soup to the fucking homeless. It wasn't even soup, I saw how they fucking made it and that shit was just salted water and shoe laces. But what the fuck, it didn't have any meat in it so I didn't fucking care, and it's not like all those fucking battered women, overweight hookers and old fucking winos gave a fuck, either. Another buddy of mine, Dave, got sent to the Wilson Center after he tried to run down a drunken frat boy last summer. That drunk fucker would've probably gotten into his car and killed somebody that night if Dave hadn't paralyzed him from the waist down. Today, Dave does lots of community fucking service.

4. Get fucking educated. If you're saving your brian by not fucking drowning it in booze or shorting it out with the fucking crackaine, don't fucking waste if by watching fucking TV or movies or shit like that. Read a fucking book or go to a fucking museum once in awhile. I just got done reading a fucking awesome book called "Superfudge" by Judy Bloom that I totally fucking recommend, and now I'm starting on a new Fear Street one by R.L. Stine. The guy is fucking bad-ass! If you haven't read all his "Goosebumps" series you're fucking missing out on some wicked shit! Also, spend some time listening to classical works from composers like Beethoven and Minor Threat. Music is brian food.

5. Do your best to keep yourself and those around you clean. When you get done kicking the shit out of some fucking punk who was smoking behind the bus garage, wipe his fucking blood off your hands and boots before you leave the fucking scene. It's just more common fucking sense: If you walk around town with blood dripping off your fists and clumps of hair dangling from your fucking boots, it doesn't do much to improve the public's misguided perception of Straight Edgers as a bunch of violent thugs. And the fucking media isn't gonna stop calling us fucking hoodlums unless we stop beating people up on camera. I know I'm just as guilty of this as the next guy, so I'm not fucking throwing stones, I just think it would help make the movement look more fucking respectable and shit like that.

There you have it, kids, five fucking steps to living a Straight Edge lifestyle. If you punks have any fucking questions or awesome porno, shoot me an email, else just shut the fuck up. And I'll be back next month with more news and views from the Straight Edge of Salt Lake City.




Hahahahaha.




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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: Mr. Nipples ()
Date: June 05, 2005 09:38PM

i read half the first sentence and it didnt keep my attention

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 09:42PM

that's pathetic.


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: XangrypirateX ()
Date: June 05, 2005 09:50PM

gary francis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> is sarcasm that hard to recognize?
>
>


SLC has some of the most violent sxe crews in the us


KUTTA KEGGORY

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 09:53PM

i did not know that. but the website is still just a joke.


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: XangrypirateX ()
Date: June 05, 2005 09:58PM




KUTTA KEGGORY



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/05/2005 09:58PM by XangrypirateX.

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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: Kels ()
Date: June 05, 2005 10:03PM

I really really dislike these hardcore faggots and what they've turned sXe into


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 10:05PM

i really really dislike when people use the word faggot, you maggot!


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: Kels ()
Date: June 05, 2005 10:05PM

shut the fuck up faggot.


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: gary francis ()
Date: June 05, 2005 10:07PM




do you want to end up looking like that? no? THEN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! JERK!


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Re: Straight Fucking Edge
Posted by: XangrypirateX ()
Date: June 05, 2005 10:08PM

straight edge has always been pretty violent


KUTTA KEGGORY

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